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Baby Steps

Divisions: Finding Yourself, Living with Illnesses, Parents with Disabilities, Single Parents, Working Moms

Submitted by ceoMom 649, Letitia, about 1 year ago

It seems so many of us have the same kind of life. I'm older than you are, am a single parent too and work full time. This is not an easy life, but you know that already. Just know that you're not alone!

First step, decide where you want to raise your daughter. This will take time but plan it well and make your decision. And when the decision is made, act on it! Make it happen!

Amanda, you are your child's Mom... first and foremost. You can't be her Dad too. Choose to be her Mom and then do it... I can hear that you already do that so well for her. Next, find some friends who would be the kind of male role model you'd want in her life. Let them know from the outset what their role in her life will be. My father died when I was 15 and my Mom tried to be both parents to us. It was hectic and didn't really work well. My sisters and I (15, 13 & 12) asked her to concentrate on being our Mom only. We worked out who of our family and friends we'd want as our male role models, then just settled down to being Mother and daughters. Things got easier after that.

Now that you know where to plant your roots, work on your support network. No matter where I lived (Israel, UK & Cape Town), I always made sure I had one... these are the people who will be in YOUR corner ANY time of the day or night.

Use the guidelines on this website. Establish your Family Systems, use the Family Plan (I've just simplified mine), sort out your finances (the hardest job of all) and CHOOSE YOUR LIFE. My son (9) and I do this together and it's been fun.

Our lives happen because of the choices we make. You made a beautiful one when you decided to keep your child and raise her. Be conscious of your decisions and then ACT on them. Oprah says "live your best life" and it only happens when you make your choices.

I wish you well as you live your life with your daughter. There's a sparkle in your eyes that looks like it comes from your heart. Hang on to that sparkle and take care of you. All the very best! :-)

1 comment

ceoMom 304, Carrie — about 1 year ago

I agree with Letita. There is a sparkle in your eyes. I don't even know you but through this site, and I believe in you. You can find a way to make things work. Keep a clear vision in your mind of how you want things to be. Even write it down. Keep open to the paths that may lead you there. Things work out. They just do.

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