The Discovery of an Empty Nester

For the second time in my life, I am in what I view as, "very unfamiliar territory." The first time I experienced this feeling was the day I found out I was pregnant with my son. Life changed. The next 19 years were spent preparing and/or providing for my child. It is funny the things we will do (or not do) for the sake of our children.

Last December, my son left for boot camp. It was a lonely time because I was used to Brandon spending time with me every day… or at least talking to him on the phone. In boot camp, all communication ties are cut and the only thing you receive from your recruit are form letters. This sudden lack of communication led to immediate empty nester symptoms. I thought about adoption, foster children, even a puppy. To my relief, Brandon was sent home from boot camp after four very long weeks. This allowed me to recover from my separation loss and I have not adopted anything.

Upon his return, Brandon moved out and is working with his father. I get to talk to him whenever I want and we still spend time together. The biggest difference is I no longer have to provide for him or make my life decisions around him. This gradual transition allowed me to ease into accepting a new role. It is a role that is very unfamiliar and sometimes unnerving. I am a mother; but one that no longer intervenes or teaches lessons daily. But really, do we ever stop?

Having my son instilled in me great qualities I could not have learned anywhere else. Whether it is a blessing or a curse, I spent those years being very cautious in my decisions and I set limitations on my own potential. For the first time, I realize I can look beyond these limitations and do something for me. Yes, that’s right…me! What an exciting, yet scary adventure. I can move out of state (something I've wanted to do for years); I can return to school; I can even change careers. The possibilities are endless. I am so excited about where it can lead!

The stages of motherhood can be summed up in four words: life, love, loss and liberation.

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