No More "No" and 123

When you feel you are constantly having to say "no" to your children, one simple solution is to completely eliminate the word from your language. At one time, I felt like I was telling my daughter "no" constantly. She was always into everything and creating mess after mess. Instead of saying "no," I switched it to a phrase such as: "That's not ok" or "We don't throw toys from the banister" (something that happened frequently in our two-story home).

Then if my daughter continued to throw an item or whatnot, I would explain the consequence and count to 3. The consequence was always different depending on what she was into that day. Perhaps it was her favorite stuffed animal having to go into the garage or her favorite Thomas the Tank engine, etc. It was always something I could take away. And I DID take it away and put it in the garage if I got to 3.

Soon, she caught on and knew what 1 2 3 meant. I'd say something like this (in a nice tone - you don't even have to get upset): "We don't throw toys from the banister. They could break or hurt the floor. If you keep throwing toys, I'm going to take away your Bear and put him in the garage. 1 2..."

Over time, this method has worked wonders with keeping my kids in control, but giving them the option to control the situation as well. It also works with cleaning up their own messes, which they need to do. That also shows them not to make such big messes, because cleaning up is a lot of work.

I started doing this as soon as my kids could comprehend language and understand what a consequence was. Until then, I tried to be extra patient realizing it was just a phase and that too shall pass.

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