Messy Means Solitude

My mother put a lot of emphasis on my messy room. She tried everything. She even made cute little notes and put them all over so that I would clean to find them.

The problem was that I kind of wanted it to be messy. I had so little control over most of my life that I wanted one place that I could say I don't care, let it be. It was also my way of staying alone when I didn't want anyone in there.

I know it is hard, and it's not the best habit for her to learn. But maybe there's something deeper that is causing her to feel she needs a place where she can not have everything perfect.

I have felt EXACTLY as she said. In many ways she is right and in some ways she is wrong. It has to be her to desire to clean her room. When I went to college and didn't have my mother trying to rule my life, my room was almost always immaculate. Every once in a while it would get messy when mid-terms and finals came around; but I wanted it to be clean because it was my space.

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