Positive Relationships for Families

I've just returned from a workshop about effective communication and learning that members of strong families work at developing good communication skills and spending a lot of time talking with each other. Strong families talk about the small, trivial things as well as the deep, important issues of life. Our seminar leader stressed over and over that communication is the lifeblood of all relationships and the way that love and other emotions are expressed. Relationships are played out in the context of communication. She added: we cannot help but communicate and it is largely up to us whether the communication in our families will be effective or ineffective.

Here are some examples of what effective communication means:

-- Being open and honest, yet kind.
-- Listening carefully, without distraction.
-- Checking the meaning of messages which are not clear.
-- Avoiding "mind-reading."
-- Walking a mile in the other person's shoes.
-- Trusting one another.
-- Avoiding criticizing, evaluating, and acting superior.
-- Dealing with one issue at a time.
-- Dealing with specifics rather than generalities.
-- Attacking the problem, not each other.
-- Having and understanding attitude.

I've also learned that strong families spend time -- quality time in large quantities -- with each other, because that helps eliminate isolation, loneliness and alienation. Times spent together also:

-- Helps the family develop an identity -- a group unity and a sense of their place in history.
-- Helps avoid the "fizzle and die" of some marriage relationships.
-- Enhances the communication process and allows opportunity to build on other family strengths.

I asked the question:"But what exactly are families to do when they are together?" The answer was: "Just about anything."

They can share:
-- Mealtimes
-- House and yard chores
-- Picnics
-- Camping
-- Outdoor sports
-- Walking and hiking
-- Indoor recreation, such as jigsaw puzzles table games, or a favorite video
-- Going bowling or to the movies
-- Religious services
-- Scouting or 4-H activities
-- School activities
-- Special events like holidays and birthdays.

In essence, effective communication is important, because our relationships with each other will be improved.

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