8 months ago
Overcoming Fear as a Mom
When I became pregnant with my first child, my fear started. I was
always worried if the baby was ok, if my pregnancy would be healthy,
etc. Sometimes if I didn't feel the baby move, I would push and prod
until I felt a leg hit my ribs. I remember one day talking about this
with my mom and she told me to "cut it out," a term I got really used
to hearing as a child! She then explained to me that the day the baby
is born is when the real worry will begin. "You'll be worrying about
this child every day for the rest of your life," she said. Somehow that
helped me. My baby girl was born, healthy and happy..
And like in most other cases, my mom was right. Too much so in fact. Have you ever feared getting in the car that something bad would happen? Sometimes this thought made me not want to leave the house with my precious baby. Don't even watch the news. All the bad things that were reported, I internalized. Everything from airplane crashes to burglaries; house fires to illnesses and cancer. I was just scared in that "mom" sort of way wanting to protect our little family.
Then one day I was sick of it. Just tired of the fear and the constant protection. That's not what "life" is about. I concluded that I would face my fears. First, I decided that whenever I felt fear or discomfort, I would force myself to face it. Silly story, but I never wanted to go through the Subway drive-through. It kind of scared me. I mean, how was I to order custom sandwiches over an intercom with another car behind me hurrying me along? So one day, I just drove right on into the drive-through and placed my order. Of course it wasn't so bad and yes my sandwiches weren't perfect, but I faced my drive-through fear.
Then bigger ones came. I got on an airplane and went on vacation. Then I did it again and again. We took long road trips with the kids and we didn't worry so much about what "could" happen. I went out everyday to new outings with the kids -- whether I knew how to get there or not or where I was going to park or if the kids had a meltdown oh well, etc.
And this is how I started to break down the wall of "mom" fear. Later I learned to have more confidence in my abilities or in other words realize that maybe I'm stronger than I think. And more recently I've learned not to worry about the future so much, because I am living right now.
And like in most other cases, my mom was right. Too much so in fact. Have you ever feared getting in the car that something bad would happen? Sometimes this thought made me not want to leave the house with my precious baby. Don't even watch the news. All the bad things that were reported, I internalized. Everything from airplane crashes to burglaries; house fires to illnesses and cancer. I was just scared in that "mom" sort of way wanting to protect our little family.
Then one day I was sick of it. Just tired of the fear and the constant protection. That's not what "life" is about. I concluded that I would face my fears. First, I decided that whenever I felt fear or discomfort, I would force myself to face it. Silly story, but I never wanted to go through the Subway drive-through. It kind of scared me. I mean, how was I to order custom sandwiches over an intercom with another car behind me hurrying me along? So one day, I just drove right on into the drive-through and placed my order. Of course it wasn't so bad and yes my sandwiches weren't perfect, but I faced my drive-through fear.
Then bigger ones came. I got on an airplane and went on vacation. Then I did it again and again. We took long road trips with the kids and we didn't worry so much about what "could" happen. I went out everyday to new outings with the kids -- whether I knew how to get there or not or where I was going to park or if the kids had a meltdown oh well, etc.
And this is how I started to break down the wall of "mom" fear. Later I learned to have more confidence in my abilities or in other words realize that maybe I'm stronger than I think. And more recently I've learned not to worry about the future so much, because I am living right now.
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