3 months ago
Just Found: My Goals for Being a Mom That I wrote Before Kids!
My three-year old has a fascination with purses. She rummaged through my closet and found an old purse of mine. I immediately recalled that purse. I purchased it right after I was married 10 years ago. It contained a built-in day planner, which I swore at the time would organize me. Well, most of the pages went unused and as I sorted through it yesterday, I found mostly blank pages. The few that were written on contained bank information, an attempted ledger and a few scribbled shopping lists and to-dos for work.
One page, however, caught my attention. I had completely forgotten I had done this. When I was first married, I took the time to write down the goals I had for raising my "future" children. I vaguely remember telling myself that once I became a mother, I might be too busy and forget what my goals were. Oh how right I was!
So for fun, let me tell you what I wrote on my little day planner that was supposed to keep me in line:
GOALS FOR RAISING MY CHILDREN -- Written in 1999, three years before having children
1. Teach Healthy Competition
-- When you lose, recover from your losses
-- Explore activities with your children
-- Gradually find strengths
-- Rejection can make you strong
-- There are benefits of winning and losing
2. Two hours or less of TV a week
3. Teach girls how to feel smart
-- Many different kinds of smart: Creative, social, humor, book
-- Learn to read at three years old. Math!
4. Deemphasize appearance and popularity
5. Be a coach, not a judge
-- No grounding: Be a problem solver instead (ok to give time-outs)
-- Belief that your children are going to do the right thing
6. Fulfill your own dreams
It's interesting to me to read these goals now. I didn't realize when I wrote my goals that my daughter would have a really hard time with losing and competition. Reading goal 1 is very meaningful to me especially now. I didn't know at the time that I would have two girls and that teaching them to be smart in all ways would end up being my highest priority as I stated in Goal 3.
Goal 5 encourages me to "coach" my kids in all they do and to truly believe they will do the right thing after all I can do to teach them. And lastly, Goal 6: Fulfill your own dreams. How would I have known after having children that I would forget about myself? It's as if I just gave myself permission to go after my own dreams and interests.
Even though most of the pages were empty in my day planner and perhaps it didn't help to organize my life back then, having it made me think of the future for a few minutes and what I really wanted. And now I have a little guide I can always go back to when I feel too busy to remember.
One page, however, caught my attention. I had completely forgotten I had done this. When I was first married, I took the time to write down the goals I had for raising my "future" children. I vaguely remember telling myself that once I became a mother, I might be too busy and forget what my goals were. Oh how right I was!
So for fun, let me tell you what I wrote on my little day planner that was supposed to keep me in line:
GOALS FOR RAISING MY CHILDREN -- Written in 1999, three years before having children
1. Teach Healthy Competition
-- When you lose, recover from your losses
-- Explore activities with your children
-- Gradually find strengths
-- Rejection can make you strong
-- There are benefits of winning and losing
2. Two hours or less of TV a week
3. Teach girls how to feel smart
-- Many different kinds of smart: Creative, social, humor, book
-- Learn to read at three years old. Math!
4. Deemphasize appearance and popularity
5. Be a coach, not a judge
-- No grounding: Be a problem solver instead (ok to give time-outs)
-- Belief that your children are going to do the right thing
6. Fulfill your own dreams
It's interesting to me to read these goals now. I didn't realize when I wrote my goals that my daughter would have a really hard time with losing and competition. Reading goal 1 is very meaningful to me especially now. I didn't know at the time that I would have two girls and that teaching them to be smart in all ways would end up being my highest priority as I stated in Goal 3.
Goal 5 encourages me to "coach" my kids in all they do and to truly believe they will do the right thing after all I can do to teach them. And lastly, Goal 6: Fulfill your own dreams. How would I have known after having children that I would forget about myself? It's as if I just gave myself permission to go after my own dreams and interests.
Even though most of the pages were empty in my day planner and perhaps it didn't help to organize my life back then, having it made me think of the future for a few minutes and what I really wanted. And now I have a little guide I can always go back to when I feel too busy to remember.
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101 daybook
