Workshop: Overcome Your Fears and Start Living
DAY 1: ceoMom Workshop on Overcoming Your Fears
on the job training for the executive domesticWelcome to the ceoMom Workshop on overcoming fear and anxiety. We will be focusing on “mom fear” or excessive worrying; however, the techniques we will show you during this Workshop can be applied to all types of fear. So whether you are afraid to leave your house with your baby or you’re afraid to speak in public, the tools we will learn will help you overcome your fears and help you start living your best life.
Fear can stop a mom in her tracks. It can affect where she goes, what she does and who she is. Fear can take the life right out of you. Let’s face it: Moms worry. All the time. We worry about the health of our children, scheduling doctor’s appointments and whether or not our kids are eating enough vegetables. What about helping our kids with their homework, hoping they’ll pass the test and get into college? We worry about the safety of our children, crossing the road, buckling in and driving to the store accident free. We could literally write pages on what a mom worries about, but it typically boils down to one statement:
“I want my children to grow, prosper and be happy.” Anything that can affect that, we worry about.
For many moms, everyday worries can turn to unhealthy fear in one split second. The moment you find out you are expecting a child, you begin to worry. And those feelings continue, escalate and multiply as your child begins life, taking the first step, starting kindergarten or turning 16. When worrying turns to fear, it can immobilize a mom. It starts out small and then grows, squeezing the life right out of you.
Here are a few signs of a mom paralyzed by fear:
-- Staying home because you’re afraid to travel with your children, even short distances
-- Tightness of breath or shallow breathing
-- Afraid to drive on the freeway with your kids
-- Making excuses to avoid spontaneous activities
-- Turning down playdates or looking for reasons not to participate, sometimes making up illnesses
-- Refusing to or having difficulty leaving your kids, even if they are in the best of hands
-- Constantly checking on your children while they sleep
-- Triple checking to make sure your doors are locked at night
-- Not liking being in crowded or enclosed places like movie theaters
-- Getting uptight or upset trying to keep your children safe in public areas
-- Afraid of anything that could potentially cause harm, no matter how unlikely, such as lightening storms, a buzzing bee or crossing a quiet street
Moms do not live their best life when they are overcome with fear. In fact, fear changes who you are. It keeps you from doing the things you set out to do and experiencing life in its fullest state. Fear holds you in a box and closes the lid. And unfortunately, you pass that fear on to your children, too. Franklin D. Roosevelt once said: “The only thing to fear is fear itself.”
In the coming days we’ll show you what you need to do to create balance in your life, discovering a new perspective and finding yourself in the process.
Love,
ceoMom 101
Fear can stop a mom in her tracks. It can affect where she goes, what she does and who she is. Fear can take the life right out of you. Let’s face it: Moms worry. All the time. We worry about the health of our children, scheduling doctor’s appointments and whether or not our kids are eating enough vegetables. What about helping our kids with their homework, hoping they’ll pass the test and get into college? We worry about the safety of our children, crossing the road, buckling in and driving to the store accident free. We could literally write pages on what a mom worries about, but it typically boils down to one statement:
“I want my children to grow, prosper and be happy.” Anything that can affect that, we worry about.
For many moms, everyday worries can turn to unhealthy fear in one split second. The moment you find out you are expecting a child, you begin to worry. And those feelings continue, escalate and multiply as your child begins life, taking the first step, starting kindergarten or turning 16. When worrying turns to fear, it can immobilize a mom. It starts out small and then grows, squeezing the life right out of you.
Here are a few signs of a mom paralyzed by fear:
-- Staying home because you’re afraid to travel with your children, even short distances
-- Tightness of breath or shallow breathing
-- Afraid to drive on the freeway with your kids
-- Making excuses to avoid spontaneous activities
-- Turning down playdates or looking for reasons not to participate, sometimes making up illnesses
-- Refusing to or having difficulty leaving your kids, even if they are in the best of hands
-- Constantly checking on your children while they sleep
-- Triple checking to make sure your doors are locked at night
-- Not liking being in crowded or enclosed places like movie theaters
-- Getting uptight or upset trying to keep your children safe in public areas
-- Afraid of anything that could potentially cause harm, no matter how unlikely, such as lightening storms, a buzzing bee or crossing a quiet street
Moms do not live their best life when they are overcome with fear. In fact, fear changes who you are. It keeps you from doing the things you set out to do and experiencing life in its fullest state. Fear holds you in a box and closes the lid. And unfortunately, you pass that fear on to your children, too. Franklin D. Roosevelt once said: “The only thing to fear is fear itself.”
In the coming days we’ll show you what you need to do to create balance in your life, discovering a new perspective and finding yourself in the process.
Love,
ceoMom 101
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DAY 2: ceoMom Workshop on Overcoming Your Fears
on the job training for the executive domesticThere are two types of fear: Survival and Story Telling.
Survival
We want our children to survive and quiet frankly, we want to survive to help our children grow and prosper. This is at the root of all our “mom” worries.
Our bodies are bio-chemically engineered to produce the fight or flight response should you find yourself in danger. Your brain produces a chemical that is pumped through your body at the onset of a dangerous situation. This chemical is strong and overtime can erode your system. At times, though, it is necessary to assist you in protecting what is important to you. This is fear in its raw form. This is you wanting to protect your family.
But fear in its raw form, to protect you from immediate danger, is typically seldom. It is the exception, not the rule. It is reserved for extreme cases only. Many moms, however, live with fear on a continuous basis. Why? Because they are story telling.
Story Telling
If you feel fear and are not in pure survival mode, you are story telling. This means you literally come up with a story in your mind about what “could” happen, no matter how unlikely. This is an imaginary story, projected in your mind that causes the same chemical reaction you feel in a fight or flight mode. But there is no real threat. There is just a thought. A thought always precedes an emotion. In other words, you think there could be danger and therefore you feel fear.
If a mom is scared to leave her house because she wants to protect her baby, what story is she telling herself? “It’s dangerous out there.” “We could get into a car accident.” The stories flourish in her mind. She then decides to play it safe and stay home, all the while missing out on life’s experiences.
Use Caution, Not Fear
Fear and caution are two different things. Fear is a distressing emotion caused by the thought of danger, whether real or fake. Caution, on the other hand, is alertness and prudence in keeping your family safe in a practical sense. It’s making sure the car seat is installed properly, driving the speed limit and staying off your cell phone while driving. Anything else is story telling. Caution makes you pause while fear stops you cold in your tracks.
The problem is that our minds love to take practical caution and turn it into fear. You give it an inch; it takes a foot. Instead of allowing the story making to overpower you, let it be a signal for caution. Become alert and be prudent if action is necessary, but then take that first step and experience life.
Awareness
What stories are you creating in your mind? Awareness of your story making is half the battle. By simply being aware of your illusionary stories, they will begin to fade. Every time you feel story-making fear, simply allow the feeling to come, abide and dissolve on its own. Take a deep breath in and release. It’s that easy.
Tomorrow we will discuss more ways to overcome fear and create a powerful you.
Love,
ceoMom 101
Survival
We want our children to survive and quiet frankly, we want to survive to help our children grow and prosper. This is at the root of all our “mom” worries.
Our bodies are bio-chemically engineered to produce the fight or flight response should you find yourself in danger. Your brain produces a chemical that is pumped through your body at the onset of a dangerous situation. This chemical is strong and overtime can erode your system. At times, though, it is necessary to assist you in protecting what is important to you. This is fear in its raw form. This is you wanting to protect your family.
But fear in its raw form, to protect you from immediate danger, is typically seldom. It is the exception, not the rule. It is reserved for extreme cases only. Many moms, however, live with fear on a continuous basis. Why? Because they are story telling.
Story Telling
If you feel fear and are not in pure survival mode, you are story telling. This means you literally come up with a story in your mind about what “could” happen, no matter how unlikely. This is an imaginary story, projected in your mind that causes the same chemical reaction you feel in a fight or flight mode. But there is no real threat. There is just a thought. A thought always precedes an emotion. In other words, you think there could be danger and therefore you feel fear.
If a mom is scared to leave her house because she wants to protect her baby, what story is she telling herself? “It’s dangerous out there.” “We could get into a car accident.” The stories flourish in her mind. She then decides to play it safe and stay home, all the while missing out on life’s experiences.
Use Caution, Not Fear
Fear and caution are two different things. Fear is a distressing emotion caused by the thought of danger, whether real or fake. Caution, on the other hand, is alertness and prudence in keeping your family safe in a practical sense. It’s making sure the car seat is installed properly, driving the speed limit and staying off your cell phone while driving. Anything else is story telling. Caution makes you pause while fear stops you cold in your tracks.
The problem is that our minds love to take practical caution and turn it into fear. You give it an inch; it takes a foot. Instead of allowing the story making to overpower you, let it be a signal for caution. Become alert and be prudent if action is necessary, but then take that first step and experience life.
Awareness
What stories are you creating in your mind? Awareness of your story making is half the battle. By simply being aware of your illusionary stories, they will begin to fade. Every time you feel story-making fear, simply allow the feeling to come, abide and dissolve on its own. Take a deep breath in and release. It’s that easy.
Tomorrow we will discuss more ways to overcome fear and create a powerful you.
Love,
ceoMom 101
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DAY 3: ceoMom Workshop on Overcoming Your Fears
on the job training for the executive domesticYesterday we discussed becoming aware of our story making, the illusionary stories we create that cause fear to develop. Awareness is key to overcoming your fears. This means you are being conscious of your thoughts knowing your thinking will either lead to a fight or flight response (fear) or internal peace. A thought always precedes an emotion. To recognize your story making, you must ask yourself: “Is this a real threat or simply a possibility?” If your answer is “simply a possibility,” you are story making.
Often, being aware of your story making is sufficient to allow the fear to pass. Don’t fight the fear. Allow it to come to you. Look at it. Recognize it and then watch it fade away. This is the secret of masters. To help you in this process, here are a few more suggestions:
Like Attracts Like
Have you ever noticed that people with the same interests tend to become friends? Or if you smile at a person, it is likely they will smile back? This is because like attracts like. When you put out anxiety and fear, you will get more of it. Likewise, if you put out hope and peace, you will find more of that. After your fear dissolves by bringing awareness to it, follow through with a positive comment. Send out what you what more of and see how it comes back to you.
Face Your Fears
Next to awareness, facing your fears can be the most effective way of overcoming them. This does not mean you have to jump out of a plane or go deep sea diving with sharks. The trick is to start small. Very small. First, become aware of when you feel the slightest bit of anxiety. Maybe you feel apprehensive trying to parallel park or perhaps you feel a bit of fear thinking about driving to the zoo across town. And absolutely you feel scared to go to a place you’ve never been before. These can be small steps in overcoming your fears. When you feel anxiety over every day living, take that as an opportunity to face your fears. You may have to force yourself at first. Whenever you feel anxiety, commit to yourself that you have to face it. Try to parallel park, go to the zoo and see something you’ve never seen before. Many moms fear going out into the world on a daily basis. Make a plan to go somewhere every day, even if it’s just a little walk around the neighborhood or a trip to the grocery store. This will give you confidence little by little. Facing your fears will empower you to move forward and experience your life.
Let Go
Understand that fear is an unconscious attempt to control the uncontrollable. By realizing you can’t control everything in your life and by going with the flow instead, you actually open yourself up to the experience of life. Imagine trying to steer a canoe up stream. All your focus and strength becomes engrossed in the fight. It is much more enjoyable to flip around and coast down the river, making slight adjustments as necessary, while enjoying the view. You simply cannot control every aspect of your life and thinking you can by feeling fear is not going to prevent anything from happening but your ability to fully live. Let go of the struggle and let the water be your guide.
Trust
Life does not provide you with an insurance policy. Sure, bad things can happen. Around every corner is the possibility of something terrible. But you have to trust in yourself that you can handle it. Look at what women have been able to withstand through the centuries with much less than you. You are stronger than you think. But these worst case scenarios often do not happen. Living in fear and waiting for something bad to happen only decreases your ability to live your life, which is happening now. The trick here is to stop waiting for something bad to happen, but knowing that if it does, you’ll deal with it then. You can get through it and learn something in the process too. Trust yourself.
What If?
Most story telling episodes begin with the question: “What if?” This simple question can bring a whirlwind of emotions. “What if that bee stings my baby?” You then become so uptight, you go back inside where you think it’s safe even though it’s a beautiful day. And yet you never did answer the question. If you find yourself asking a “What if?” make sure to follow through with an answer. “Well, if that bee stings my baby, I’ll pull out the stinger, get an icepack and call her pediatrician.” Often times we say “What if?” and are too scared to answer the question. In considering an answer, however, often times you will find immediate relief. You either discover you have a reasonable plan or can’t do anything about it anyway. The worrying ceases, as it becomes unnecessary, and the “What if?” game comes to a close.
Be Prepared
Use caution, not fear as your guide. Caution means to be alert and diligent in keeping your family safe using practical methods. This means thinking ahead and answering the “What if?” question. If my child falls down while hiking, I’ll pull out my nifty travel sized first aid kit and clean her up. If there is a natural disaster, I’ll grab the emergency kits and the cash stored away and get us all into the car that is filled with gas. I have all my important phone numbers in one place, my cell phone is charged, my car seat is installed properly, I have taught my kids to look both ways (twice) while crossing the street, I have a fire extinguisher in my kitchen and know how to use it, etc. Now, a word of caution here. Many people prepare well and still feel fear. This is because they begin to story tell through the preparation process. It is important to prepare and answer the “What if?” question by forming a plan of action, but be careful not to begin to tell yourself stories. Let the peace come from knowing how you would respond. And then let the fear fade away.
Your Children
One of the major motivators for overcoming fear is the realization that you are passing this fear onto your children. Children have a very keen sense for your emotions, especially newborns to age five. They understand what you are feeling without having to use any words. If you are constantly wrought with fear and anxiety, your kids will pick that up and internalize it. Their own fear then begins to develop and grow. And soon your children will face the same issues as you do now. It is important to start with you. Your kids will feel more secure when you feel secure. They’ll feel more hope when you feel more hope. They’ll find peace when you find peace. Ask yourself: “How do you want your children to live?” With fear or with peace?
Breath
Moms who experience fear and anxiety typically do not breath well. They consistently take short shallow breaths instead of long deep breaths. Oxygen replenishes your system and gives your brain energy. Breathing well can assist you in finding balance. It can also help eliminate your story telling, because you cannot breath deep and think at the same time. Set your alarm on your cell phone or your oven timer and take six deep breaths every four hours. This will help train your body to breath well. And when you feel anxiety coming on, breath deep. In many cases, one deep breath is all it takes to still your mind.
Yoga
To relax your mind, many moms find practicing yoga to be very beneficial. Not only is it a great workout, the point of yoga is to find balance and inner peace. In particular, certain stretches known as hip openers are highly therapeutic, as many women hold their emotions (and therefore fear) in their hips, the largest joint in the body. These stretches help release emotions and toxins from the body promoting overall wellness. And hip openers require you to face your fears as your body is not used to being stretched that way. Many women find it exhilarating to release their fear in this manner and find inner peace in the process.
Bringing awareness to your fear and anxiety is the most important aspect in overcoming it. It brings a level of consciousness into your life and allows you to create a different result. Facing your fears, trusting yourself, challenging your thought processes, going with the flow, being prepared, breathing, thinking of your children and most importantly sending out what you really want in return are more ways to dial down the powerful you. It’s a return to who you really are.
Tomorrow we will discuss why you want to overcome your fears. It's all about what you're missing.
Love,
ceoMom 101
Note: If these ideas do not help you to overcome or manage your fear, you may be suffering from a chemical imbalance causing psychological illnesses such as depression, anxiety and/or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Seek professional help in this case. You do not need to continue to live with fear and anxiety.
Often, being aware of your story making is sufficient to allow the fear to pass. Don’t fight the fear. Allow it to come to you. Look at it. Recognize it and then watch it fade away. This is the secret of masters. To help you in this process, here are a few more suggestions:
Like Attracts Like
Have you ever noticed that people with the same interests tend to become friends? Or if you smile at a person, it is likely they will smile back? This is because like attracts like. When you put out anxiety and fear, you will get more of it. Likewise, if you put out hope and peace, you will find more of that. After your fear dissolves by bringing awareness to it, follow through with a positive comment. Send out what you what more of and see how it comes back to you.
Face Your Fears
Next to awareness, facing your fears can be the most effective way of overcoming them. This does not mean you have to jump out of a plane or go deep sea diving with sharks. The trick is to start small. Very small. First, become aware of when you feel the slightest bit of anxiety. Maybe you feel apprehensive trying to parallel park or perhaps you feel a bit of fear thinking about driving to the zoo across town. And absolutely you feel scared to go to a place you’ve never been before. These can be small steps in overcoming your fears. When you feel anxiety over every day living, take that as an opportunity to face your fears. You may have to force yourself at first. Whenever you feel anxiety, commit to yourself that you have to face it. Try to parallel park, go to the zoo and see something you’ve never seen before. Many moms fear going out into the world on a daily basis. Make a plan to go somewhere every day, even if it’s just a little walk around the neighborhood or a trip to the grocery store. This will give you confidence little by little. Facing your fears will empower you to move forward and experience your life.
Let Go
Understand that fear is an unconscious attempt to control the uncontrollable. By realizing you can’t control everything in your life and by going with the flow instead, you actually open yourself up to the experience of life. Imagine trying to steer a canoe up stream. All your focus and strength becomes engrossed in the fight. It is much more enjoyable to flip around and coast down the river, making slight adjustments as necessary, while enjoying the view. You simply cannot control every aspect of your life and thinking you can by feeling fear is not going to prevent anything from happening but your ability to fully live. Let go of the struggle and let the water be your guide.
Trust
Life does not provide you with an insurance policy. Sure, bad things can happen. Around every corner is the possibility of something terrible. But you have to trust in yourself that you can handle it. Look at what women have been able to withstand through the centuries with much less than you. You are stronger than you think. But these worst case scenarios often do not happen. Living in fear and waiting for something bad to happen only decreases your ability to live your life, which is happening now. The trick here is to stop waiting for something bad to happen, but knowing that if it does, you’ll deal with it then. You can get through it and learn something in the process too. Trust yourself.
What If?
Most story telling episodes begin with the question: “What if?” This simple question can bring a whirlwind of emotions. “What if that bee stings my baby?” You then become so uptight, you go back inside where you think it’s safe even though it’s a beautiful day. And yet you never did answer the question. If you find yourself asking a “What if?” make sure to follow through with an answer. “Well, if that bee stings my baby, I’ll pull out the stinger, get an icepack and call her pediatrician.” Often times we say “What if?” and are too scared to answer the question. In considering an answer, however, often times you will find immediate relief. You either discover you have a reasonable plan or can’t do anything about it anyway. The worrying ceases, as it becomes unnecessary, and the “What if?” game comes to a close.
Be Prepared
Use caution, not fear as your guide. Caution means to be alert and diligent in keeping your family safe using practical methods. This means thinking ahead and answering the “What if?” question. If my child falls down while hiking, I’ll pull out my nifty travel sized first aid kit and clean her up. If there is a natural disaster, I’ll grab the emergency kits and the cash stored away and get us all into the car that is filled with gas. I have all my important phone numbers in one place, my cell phone is charged, my car seat is installed properly, I have taught my kids to look both ways (twice) while crossing the street, I have a fire extinguisher in my kitchen and know how to use it, etc. Now, a word of caution here. Many people prepare well and still feel fear. This is because they begin to story tell through the preparation process. It is important to prepare and answer the “What if?” question by forming a plan of action, but be careful not to begin to tell yourself stories. Let the peace come from knowing how you would respond. And then let the fear fade away.
Your Children
One of the major motivators for overcoming fear is the realization that you are passing this fear onto your children. Children have a very keen sense for your emotions, especially newborns to age five. They understand what you are feeling without having to use any words. If you are constantly wrought with fear and anxiety, your kids will pick that up and internalize it. Their own fear then begins to develop and grow. And soon your children will face the same issues as you do now. It is important to start with you. Your kids will feel more secure when you feel secure. They’ll feel more hope when you feel more hope. They’ll find peace when you find peace. Ask yourself: “How do you want your children to live?” With fear or with peace?
Breath
Moms who experience fear and anxiety typically do not breath well. They consistently take short shallow breaths instead of long deep breaths. Oxygen replenishes your system and gives your brain energy. Breathing well can assist you in finding balance. It can also help eliminate your story telling, because you cannot breath deep and think at the same time. Set your alarm on your cell phone or your oven timer and take six deep breaths every four hours. This will help train your body to breath well. And when you feel anxiety coming on, breath deep. In many cases, one deep breath is all it takes to still your mind.
Yoga
To relax your mind, many moms find practicing yoga to be very beneficial. Not only is it a great workout, the point of yoga is to find balance and inner peace. In particular, certain stretches known as hip openers are highly therapeutic, as many women hold their emotions (and therefore fear) in their hips, the largest joint in the body. These stretches help release emotions and toxins from the body promoting overall wellness. And hip openers require you to face your fears as your body is not used to being stretched that way. Many women find it exhilarating to release their fear in this manner and find inner peace in the process.
Bringing awareness to your fear and anxiety is the most important aspect in overcoming it. It brings a level of consciousness into your life and allows you to create a different result. Facing your fears, trusting yourself, challenging your thought processes, going with the flow, being prepared, breathing, thinking of your children and most importantly sending out what you really want in return are more ways to dial down the powerful you. It’s a return to who you really are.
Tomorrow we will discuss why you want to overcome your fears. It's all about what you're missing.
Love,
ceoMom 101
Note: If these ideas do not help you to overcome or manage your fear, you may be suffering from a chemical imbalance causing psychological illnesses such as depression, anxiety and/or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Seek professional help in this case. You do not need to continue to live with fear and anxiety.
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DAY 4: ceoMom Workshop on Overcoming Your Fears
on the job training for the executive domesticWe’ve discussed the importance of awareness as you overcome your fears and anxiety. We’ve also talked about several ways to aid in this process of self-discovery. But there is one more very important thing you can do. In fact, it’s as important as awareness.
Fears and anxiety are almost always about something that happened in the past or something that could happen in the future. But seldom is it about what is happening in your life right now. Becoming present, or focusing on this very moment, is key to overcoming your fears. Being present quiets your mind and helps you enjoy your life moment by moment without reliving the past or the fear of what could happen. In fact, this is how children live, play and enjoy life. They have not yet been conditioned to make up stories other than for pure enjoyment. But how is this done?
Start by doing this: When you notice your anxiety beginning, thus bringing awareness to it, and as you are allowing it to abide for a moment, ask yourself this question: “What is harming me right this very moment?” Say you are driving your car and a storm approaches. You begin to visualize your car being struck by lightening. Stop and ask yourself: “What is harming me right this very moment?” The answer: Nothing. You are fine regardless of the thunder and flashes of light. Perhaps you are thinking about something bad that happened in the past. Ask yourself: “What is harming me right this very moment?” The answer: Nothing. Bringing yourself to the present moment helps you separate and detach from your story making or story retelling and allows you to realize your true self.
Part of becoming present is the ability to find acceptance in what is. This means accepting what has happened in the past, accepting what is happening right now and accepting the future even though it hasn’t occurred yet. This doesn’t mean you are powerless to change your life. In fact, you become more powerful. Instead of spending your energy thinking about the past or future, you spend it solving problems should you desire a different outcome. Acceptance allows you to move past fear and to find enjoyment, creativity and a powerful agent for change.
Fear-based story telling is an addiction. By bringing awareness and acceptance each time fear and anxiety arises in you, you have the opportunity to weaken the addiction. Your mind has been conditioned and trained through years of experience to story tell and create illusionary fear. But this takes away your ability to enjoy your life and to create the life you desire. It also stops you from being who you truly are. It’s time to learn how to live again.
Let’s illustrate with a simple, but profound parable:
“Once upon a time there lived a little boy who was scared to die. He was so frightened by the unknown, he spent his whole life fearing it. One day he did die, having never experienced how it felt to live.”
Fear stops us from living our lives. It hinders us from experiencing the beauty and the joy around us. It complicates the simplicity of peace and it stops us from the things that enrich our lives. Joy is not about surviving. It’s about living.
Think about all that fear stops you from experiencing:
-- The fresh air of a morning walk
-- Strolling along the beach at sunset
-- The family vacation you’ve dreamed of
-- Camping in the woods
-- Star gazing with your little ones
-- Taking a risk just for fun
-- Finding a new job with a new challenge
-- Having true relationships without judgment
-- Experiencing true love
And much more…
Fear comes from the outside; peace comes from within. In other words, no matter what is happening around you, joy is found within you any time and any where. This is who you really are: a powerful, joyful and loving mom experiencing life in its fullest.
Love,
ceoMom 101
This concludes our Workshop on overcoming your fears. See you next month as we continue the journey of discovering your mom power.
Fears and anxiety are almost always about something that happened in the past or something that could happen in the future. But seldom is it about what is happening in your life right now. Becoming present, or focusing on this very moment, is key to overcoming your fears. Being present quiets your mind and helps you enjoy your life moment by moment without reliving the past or the fear of what could happen. In fact, this is how children live, play and enjoy life. They have not yet been conditioned to make up stories other than for pure enjoyment. But how is this done?
Start by doing this: When you notice your anxiety beginning, thus bringing awareness to it, and as you are allowing it to abide for a moment, ask yourself this question: “What is harming me right this very moment?” Say you are driving your car and a storm approaches. You begin to visualize your car being struck by lightening. Stop and ask yourself: “What is harming me right this very moment?” The answer: Nothing. You are fine regardless of the thunder and flashes of light. Perhaps you are thinking about something bad that happened in the past. Ask yourself: “What is harming me right this very moment?” The answer: Nothing. Bringing yourself to the present moment helps you separate and detach from your story making or story retelling and allows you to realize your true self.
Part of becoming present is the ability to find acceptance in what is. This means accepting what has happened in the past, accepting what is happening right now and accepting the future even though it hasn’t occurred yet. This doesn’t mean you are powerless to change your life. In fact, you become more powerful. Instead of spending your energy thinking about the past or future, you spend it solving problems should you desire a different outcome. Acceptance allows you to move past fear and to find enjoyment, creativity and a powerful agent for change.
Fear-based story telling is an addiction. By bringing awareness and acceptance each time fear and anxiety arises in you, you have the opportunity to weaken the addiction. Your mind has been conditioned and trained through years of experience to story tell and create illusionary fear. But this takes away your ability to enjoy your life and to create the life you desire. It also stops you from being who you truly are. It’s time to learn how to live again.
Let’s illustrate with a simple, but profound parable:
“Once upon a time there lived a little boy who was scared to die. He was so frightened by the unknown, he spent his whole life fearing it. One day he did die, having never experienced how it felt to live.”
Fear stops us from living our lives. It hinders us from experiencing the beauty and the joy around us. It complicates the simplicity of peace and it stops us from the things that enrich our lives. Joy is not about surviving. It’s about living.
Think about all that fear stops you from experiencing:
-- The fresh air of a morning walk
-- Strolling along the beach at sunset
-- The family vacation you’ve dreamed of
-- Camping in the woods
-- Star gazing with your little ones
-- Taking a risk just for fun
-- Finding a new job with a new challenge
-- Having true relationships without judgment
-- Experiencing true love
And much more…
Fear comes from the outside; peace comes from within. In other words, no matter what is happening around you, joy is found within you any time and any where. This is who you really are: a powerful, joyful and loving mom experiencing life in its fullest.
Love,
ceoMom 101
This concludes our Workshop on overcoming your fears. See you next month as we continue the journey of discovering your mom power.
0 comments
