Workshop: Overcome Your Fears and Start Living
DAY 3: ceoMom Workshop on Overcoming Your Fears
on the job training for the executive domesticYesterday we discussed becoming aware of our story making, the illusionary stories we create that cause fear to develop. Awareness is key to overcoming your fears. This means you are being conscious of your thoughts knowing your thinking will either lead to a fight or flight response (fear) or internal peace. A thought always precedes an emotion. To recognize your story making, you must ask yourself: “Is this a real threat or simply a possibility?” If your answer is “simply a possibility,” you are story making.
Often, being aware of your story making is sufficient to allow the fear to pass. Don’t fight the fear. Allow it to come to you. Look at it. Recognize it and then watch it fade away. This is the secret of masters. To help you in this process, here are a few more suggestions:
Like Attracts Like
Have you ever noticed that people with the same interests tend to become friends? Or if you smile at a person, it is likely they will smile back? This is because like attracts like. When you put out anxiety and fear, you will get more of it. Likewise, if you put out hope and peace, you will find more of that. After your fear dissolves by bringing awareness to it, follow through with a positive comment. Send out what you what more of and see how it comes back to you.
Face Your Fears
Next to awareness, facing your fears can be the most effective way of overcoming them. This does not mean you have to jump out of a plane or go deep sea diving with sharks. The trick is to start small. Very small. First, become aware of when you feel the slightest bit of anxiety. Maybe you feel apprehensive trying to parallel park or perhaps you feel a bit of fear thinking about driving to the zoo across town. And absolutely you feel scared to go to a place you’ve never been before. These can be small steps in overcoming your fears. When you feel anxiety over every day living, take that as an opportunity to face your fears. You may have to force yourself at first. Whenever you feel anxiety, commit to yourself that you have to face it. Try to parallel park, go to the zoo and see something you’ve never seen before. Many moms fear going out into the world on a daily basis. Make a plan to go somewhere every day, even if it’s just a little walk around the neighborhood or a trip to the grocery store. This will give you confidence little by little. Facing your fears will empower you to move forward and experience your life.
Let Go
Understand that fear is an unconscious attempt to control the uncontrollable. By realizing you can’t control everything in your life and by going with the flow instead, you actually open yourself up to the experience of life. Imagine trying to steer a canoe up stream. All your focus and strength becomes engrossed in the fight. It is much more enjoyable to flip around and coast down the river, making slight adjustments as necessary, while enjoying the view. You simply cannot control every aspect of your life and thinking you can by feeling fear is not going to prevent anything from happening but your ability to fully live. Let go of the struggle and let the water be your guide.
Trust
Life does not provide you with an insurance policy. Sure, bad things can happen. Around every corner is the possibility of something terrible. But you have to trust in yourself that you can handle it. Look at what women have been able to withstand through the centuries with much less than you. You are stronger than you think. But these worst case scenarios often do not happen. Living in fear and waiting for something bad to happen only decreases your ability to live your life, which is happening now. The trick here is to stop waiting for something bad to happen, but knowing that if it does, you’ll deal with it then. You can get through it and learn something in the process too. Trust yourself.
What If?
Most story telling episodes begin with the question: “What if?” This simple question can bring a whirlwind of emotions. “What if that bee stings my baby?” You then become so uptight, you go back inside where you think it’s safe even though it’s a beautiful day. And yet you never did answer the question. If you find yourself asking a “What if?” make sure to follow through with an answer. “Well, if that bee stings my baby, I’ll pull out the stinger, get an icepack and call her pediatrician.” Often times we say “What if?” and are too scared to answer the question. In considering an answer, however, often times you will find immediate relief. You either discover you have a reasonable plan or can’t do anything about it anyway. The worrying ceases, as it becomes unnecessary, and the “What if?” game comes to a close.
Be Prepared
Use caution, not fear as your guide. Caution means to be alert and diligent in keeping your family safe using practical methods. This means thinking ahead and answering the “What if?” question. If my child falls down while hiking, I’ll pull out my nifty travel sized first aid kit and clean her up. If there is a natural disaster, I’ll grab the emergency kits and the cash stored away and get us all into the car that is filled with gas. I have all my important phone numbers in one place, my cell phone is charged, my car seat is installed properly, I have taught my kids to look both ways (twice) while crossing the street, I have a fire extinguisher in my kitchen and know how to use it, etc. Now, a word of caution here. Many people prepare well and still feel fear. This is because they begin to story tell through the preparation process. It is important to prepare and answer the “What if?” question by forming a plan of action, but be careful not to begin to tell yourself stories. Let the peace come from knowing how you would respond. And then let the fear fade away.
Your Children
One of the major motivators for overcoming fear is the realization that you are passing this fear onto your children. Children have a very keen sense for your emotions, especially newborns to age five. They understand what you are feeling without having to use any words. If you are constantly wrought with fear and anxiety, your kids will pick that up and internalize it. Their own fear then begins to develop and grow. And soon your children will face the same issues as you do now. It is important to start with you. Your kids will feel more secure when you feel secure. They’ll feel more hope when you feel more hope. They’ll find peace when you find peace. Ask yourself: “How do you want your children to live?” With fear or with peace?
Breath
Moms who experience fear and anxiety typically do not breath well. They consistently take short shallow breaths instead of long deep breaths. Oxygen replenishes your system and gives your brain energy. Breathing well can assist you in finding balance. It can also help eliminate your story telling, because you cannot breath deep and think at the same time. Set your alarm on your cell phone or your oven timer and take six deep breaths every four hours. This will help train your body to breath well. And when you feel anxiety coming on, breath deep. In many cases, one deep breath is all it takes to still your mind.
Yoga
To relax your mind, many moms find practicing yoga to be very beneficial. Not only is it a great workout, the point of yoga is to find balance and inner peace. In particular, certain stretches known as hip openers are highly therapeutic, as many women hold their emotions (and therefore fear) in their hips, the largest joint in the body. These stretches help release emotions and toxins from the body promoting overall wellness. And hip openers require you to face your fears as your body is not used to being stretched that way. Many women find it exhilarating to release their fear in this manner and find inner peace in the process.
Bringing awareness to your fear and anxiety is the most important aspect in overcoming it. It brings a level of consciousness into your life and allows you to create a different result. Facing your fears, trusting yourself, challenging your thought processes, going with the flow, being prepared, breathing, thinking of your children and most importantly sending out what you really want in return are more ways to dial down the powerful you. It’s a return to who you really are.
Tomorrow we will discuss why you want to overcome your fears. It's all about what you're missing.
Love,
ceoMom 101
Note: If these ideas do not help you to overcome or manage your fear, you may be suffering from a chemical imbalance causing psychological illnesses such as depression, anxiety and/or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Seek professional help in this case. You do not need to continue to live with fear and anxiety.
Often, being aware of your story making is sufficient to allow the fear to pass. Don’t fight the fear. Allow it to come to you. Look at it. Recognize it and then watch it fade away. This is the secret of masters. To help you in this process, here are a few more suggestions:
Like Attracts Like
Have you ever noticed that people with the same interests tend to become friends? Or if you smile at a person, it is likely they will smile back? This is because like attracts like. When you put out anxiety and fear, you will get more of it. Likewise, if you put out hope and peace, you will find more of that. After your fear dissolves by bringing awareness to it, follow through with a positive comment. Send out what you what more of and see how it comes back to you.
Face Your Fears
Next to awareness, facing your fears can be the most effective way of overcoming them. This does not mean you have to jump out of a plane or go deep sea diving with sharks. The trick is to start small. Very small. First, become aware of when you feel the slightest bit of anxiety. Maybe you feel apprehensive trying to parallel park or perhaps you feel a bit of fear thinking about driving to the zoo across town. And absolutely you feel scared to go to a place you’ve never been before. These can be small steps in overcoming your fears. When you feel anxiety over every day living, take that as an opportunity to face your fears. You may have to force yourself at first. Whenever you feel anxiety, commit to yourself that you have to face it. Try to parallel park, go to the zoo and see something you’ve never seen before. Many moms fear going out into the world on a daily basis. Make a plan to go somewhere every day, even if it’s just a little walk around the neighborhood or a trip to the grocery store. This will give you confidence little by little. Facing your fears will empower you to move forward and experience your life.
Let Go
Understand that fear is an unconscious attempt to control the uncontrollable. By realizing you can’t control everything in your life and by going with the flow instead, you actually open yourself up to the experience of life. Imagine trying to steer a canoe up stream. All your focus and strength becomes engrossed in the fight. It is much more enjoyable to flip around and coast down the river, making slight adjustments as necessary, while enjoying the view. You simply cannot control every aspect of your life and thinking you can by feeling fear is not going to prevent anything from happening but your ability to fully live. Let go of the struggle and let the water be your guide.
Trust
Life does not provide you with an insurance policy. Sure, bad things can happen. Around every corner is the possibility of something terrible. But you have to trust in yourself that you can handle it. Look at what women have been able to withstand through the centuries with much less than you. You are stronger than you think. But these worst case scenarios often do not happen. Living in fear and waiting for something bad to happen only decreases your ability to live your life, which is happening now. The trick here is to stop waiting for something bad to happen, but knowing that if it does, you’ll deal with it then. You can get through it and learn something in the process too. Trust yourself.
What If?
Most story telling episodes begin with the question: “What if?” This simple question can bring a whirlwind of emotions. “What if that bee stings my baby?” You then become so uptight, you go back inside where you think it’s safe even though it’s a beautiful day. And yet you never did answer the question. If you find yourself asking a “What if?” make sure to follow through with an answer. “Well, if that bee stings my baby, I’ll pull out the stinger, get an icepack and call her pediatrician.” Often times we say “What if?” and are too scared to answer the question. In considering an answer, however, often times you will find immediate relief. You either discover you have a reasonable plan or can’t do anything about it anyway. The worrying ceases, as it becomes unnecessary, and the “What if?” game comes to a close.
Be Prepared
Use caution, not fear as your guide. Caution means to be alert and diligent in keeping your family safe using practical methods. This means thinking ahead and answering the “What if?” question. If my child falls down while hiking, I’ll pull out my nifty travel sized first aid kit and clean her up. If there is a natural disaster, I’ll grab the emergency kits and the cash stored away and get us all into the car that is filled with gas. I have all my important phone numbers in one place, my cell phone is charged, my car seat is installed properly, I have taught my kids to look both ways (twice) while crossing the street, I have a fire extinguisher in my kitchen and know how to use it, etc. Now, a word of caution here. Many people prepare well and still feel fear. This is because they begin to story tell through the preparation process. It is important to prepare and answer the “What if?” question by forming a plan of action, but be careful not to begin to tell yourself stories. Let the peace come from knowing how you would respond. And then let the fear fade away.
Your Children
One of the major motivators for overcoming fear is the realization that you are passing this fear onto your children. Children have a very keen sense for your emotions, especially newborns to age five. They understand what you are feeling without having to use any words. If you are constantly wrought with fear and anxiety, your kids will pick that up and internalize it. Their own fear then begins to develop and grow. And soon your children will face the same issues as you do now. It is important to start with you. Your kids will feel more secure when you feel secure. They’ll feel more hope when you feel more hope. They’ll find peace when you find peace. Ask yourself: “How do you want your children to live?” With fear or with peace?
Breath
Moms who experience fear and anxiety typically do not breath well. They consistently take short shallow breaths instead of long deep breaths. Oxygen replenishes your system and gives your brain energy. Breathing well can assist you in finding balance. It can also help eliminate your story telling, because you cannot breath deep and think at the same time. Set your alarm on your cell phone or your oven timer and take six deep breaths every four hours. This will help train your body to breath well. And when you feel anxiety coming on, breath deep. In many cases, one deep breath is all it takes to still your mind.
Yoga
To relax your mind, many moms find practicing yoga to be very beneficial. Not only is it a great workout, the point of yoga is to find balance and inner peace. In particular, certain stretches known as hip openers are highly therapeutic, as many women hold their emotions (and therefore fear) in their hips, the largest joint in the body. These stretches help release emotions and toxins from the body promoting overall wellness. And hip openers require you to face your fears as your body is not used to being stretched that way. Many women find it exhilarating to release their fear in this manner and find inner peace in the process.
Bringing awareness to your fear and anxiety is the most important aspect in overcoming it. It brings a level of consciousness into your life and allows you to create a different result. Facing your fears, trusting yourself, challenging your thought processes, going with the flow, being prepared, breathing, thinking of your children and most importantly sending out what you really want in return are more ways to dial down the powerful you. It’s a return to who you really are.
Tomorrow we will discuss why you want to overcome your fears. It's all about what you're missing.
Love,
ceoMom 101
Note: If these ideas do not help you to overcome or manage your fear, you may be suffering from a chemical imbalance causing psychological illnesses such as depression, anxiety and/or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Seek professional help in this case. You do not need to continue to live with fear and anxiety.
0 comments
Related Sessions
DAY 1: ceoMom Workshop on Overcoming Your Fears
DAY 2: ceoMom Workshop on Overcoming Your Fears
